I recently met a new business-building momma who really helped me move forward in this process. And I just had to introduce you to her. I’m a member of One Woman Shop (OWS), a collective for female solopreneurs that provides training and community.
I was recently introduced to fellow OWS-er, and coach for moms, Joy Ycasiano-Dejos. (And I’m so glad I was!)
As I started the process of preparing my biz for baby and maternity leave, I scoured Google for resources to help. In my search, I found a lot of mom business builders just like me. They were cataloging how they were prepping their businesses for this big change.
I was struggling to find someone on the other side: a current mom who was sharing her tips for balancing it all. That’s where Joy came in.
When I met her, it was like a breath of fresh air. She was exactly who (and what) I was looking for! My first introduction to Joy’s coaching was through her free, 3-week MommyProofing training for pregnant moms. (She also has a free training for current mommas & a group coaching program!)
The training was a set of 3 worksheets, delivered to my inbox once a week. They helped me to clearly articulate my concerns - and to set some goals for before and after baby comes.
Through the worksheets, I really had some break throughs around: who I want to be once I’m a mom; specifying the routines I’ll need to put into place for my family; and the “shoulds” I’ll have to set aside to make it all happen.
After I did the training, I set up a free coaching call with Joy.
I really enjoyed chatting with her. She was calm and kind and did not pass judgement as I shared my thoughts and fears. (That helped me feel so at ease.) By the end of the call, she helped me set clear action steps to combat my biggest fears for the coming months. It really made me feel empowered.
I recently reconnected with Joy. Here's a bit of our conversation:
Why are you so passionate about serving moms and moms-to be, specifically?
I feel moms and moms-to-be aren't preparing themselves enough for the changes that becoming a mom brings. When I was pregnant, I prepared extensively for the baby - making sure I had all the necessary supplies. But that ended there. I had a number of moments when I'd start to feel fear and apprehension about how my life would change, but I ignored those moments and felt guilty about being so "selfish." Looking back, I realize moms-to-be need more of those moments - where they question how their lives and selves will change. And more moments to consciously map out what they want, who they want to become, and to create support structures for post-delivery.
In your experience, what is the one big issue facing business-building moms right now?
Balance. Most business-building moms are moms who are building their businesses direct from their homes. That means they still need to find the time, energy, and space to: 1) take care of their children, 2) manage their homes, 3) give to their relationships with their partners, and 4) practice self-care. It takes a while for a mompreneur to find her groove - but it is possible. It'll just take several attempts, a lot of patience, a lot of forgiving of the self, and a healthy dose of realism to manage increasingly high expectations of self.
What is one step an overwhelmed mom could take today to regain her sense of control?
Take a moment to breathe. I know that sounds simplistic, but you will not believe how many of us just forget to breathe. Scientifically, that means you're not getting enough oxygen to your brain, which means you're not able to think straight, manage your emotions, and act accordingly. Just taking one minute to breathe deeply and properly has made such a great difference to many of my mom clients. Another step is realizing what is within your Circle of Control and Influence - and what is outside it - can help mom choose her battles, focus her energy, and regain a sense of control.
You mention Mommy Myths can drain us & contribute to a sense of guilt. What are some common myths you see moms struggling with?
Oh gosh! Moms, unfortunately, are plagued with so many Mommy Myths. But some of the top contenders are:
- Mommy is a martyr and, therefore, we must place ourselves at the bottom of every priority pole and cater to our needs last
- Great moms multitask which is such a huge drain of energy & focus, and
- I don't really need much rest & sleep, which means the very foundation of everything we do, are, and hope to be is compromised!
I wanted to introduce you to Joy because I personally haven’t found another coach like her.
She is someone who is speaking directly to women going through this massive transition. I really hope her resources provide as much value to you as they did me.